{"id":1061,"date":"2019-02-10T21:54:00","date_gmt":"2019-02-11T02:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/read.whitefire-publishing.com\/?p=1061"},"modified":"2020-08-25T15:46:11","modified_gmt":"2020-08-25T19:46:11","slug":"everything-i-long-for","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/whitefire-publishing.com\/read\/everything-i-long-for\/","title":{"rendered":"Everything I Long For"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Everything I Long For<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

by Melody Carlson<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maggie Carpenter and her son, Spencer, are finally beginning to feel settled in their new community. Then one day Spencer discovers a runaway girl. Leah has been looking for her biological father and has come to a dead-end in Pine Mountain. In the middle of a medical crisis in Maggie\u2019s family<\/a>, staggering news about Leah\u2019s father comes to light. Is reconciliation possible? Will Leah find the sanctuary she is looking for? And what does the future hold for Spencer and Maggie?<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n\t\t\t\t\t

Chapter 1<\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t\t

Laying down\nthe weekly paper, she reached across her cluttered desk to answer the phone.\n\u201cMaggie Carpenter,\u201d she said automatically as she circled an overlooked typo\nwith bright red ink.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom?\u201d\nSpencer\u2019s\nvoice sounded urgent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her pen\nstopped. \u201cWhat is it, Spence?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI found a\ngirl!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat do you\nmean you \u2018found a girl\u2019?\u201d She smiled to herself then added, \u201cDoes Sierra know\nabout this new development?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMom, be\nserious. I found this girl out in the woods.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWas she lost?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNot exactly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell, does she\nlive around here then?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think\nso.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maggie\u2019s voice\ngrew firm. \u201cSpencer, could you deal me a few facts here?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell, I took\nBart to the woods like I always do, and I found this girl wrapped up in an old\narmy blanket, lying underneath a tree. At first I thought she was dead or\nsomething \u2018cause it seemed pretty weird to be lying out there all by herself.\nWhen I realized she was just asleep, I thought she might have something to do\nwith those drug guys, but then I saw she was all alone and all she had was a\nbackpack with her\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhere is she\nnow?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn the\nkitchen.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou brought\nher home?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah. I\ncouldn\u2019t leave her out there like that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maggie frowned.\n\u201cHow old is she? Do you know her name?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShe won\u2019t talk\nto me. But I think she\u2019s about my age. Maybe older. Grandma\u2019s trying to get her\nto eat something. She\u2019s awfully skinny.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWill you\nplease put your grandmother on the phone, Spence?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maggie drummed\nher fingers on her desk as she waited. Who could this strange girl be, and what\nshould she do about her? Notify the authorities?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHello,\nMaggie,\u201d said her mother cheerfully. \u201cI told Spence he should call and let you\nknow that he brought home a girl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou make it\nsound as if he\u2019d simply brought home another stray dog.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Audrey\nchuckled. \u201cWell, it\u2019s sort of like that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maggie groaned.\n\u201cHopefully he doesn\u2019t want to keep her too. I wonder if I should call the\nsheriff.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMaybe not just\nyet.\u201d Her mother lowered her voice. \u201cShe looks pretty down and out. I feel real\nsorry for her.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI think I\u2019ll\ncome home and see for myself exactly what\u2019s going on there.\u201d She hung up and\nbegan loading her briefcase.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ve got to go\nhome early today,\u201d she called to Abigail.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Abigail looked\nup from her filing. \u201cAnything wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo. It just\nseems Spencer has brought home another stray.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe sure loves\nanimals, doesn\u2019t he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maggie smiled,\nnot ready to divulge the nature of this particular stray. \u201cYes, he has always\nhad a big heart. He\u2019s a lot like his dad in that way.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Abigail wagged\na finger at her. \u201cNot just his dad, Maggie.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When she got home, the three of them were\nsitting silently around the table. Maggie did a quick study of the strange girl\nsitting in her kitchen. Being a reporter had helped her become fairly adept at\nprocessing a lot of details simultaneously. The girl was probably in her late\nteens, which would make her older than Spencer. She was petite and very thin\nwith long brunette hair and large brown eyes that were smudged underneath with\ndark circles. Sad eyes, as if they had seen too much too soon. She glanced at\nthe girl\u2019s bare arms to search for needle tracks but thankfully found them\nclean. The girl was somewhat attractive in a waif-like way, but her face was\nextremely pale\u2014especially for this time of summer when most kids sported a tan.\nAnd her ragged clothing was in dire need of a good wash. Maggie sat down next\nto her, resting her arms on the pine kitchen table, the one Jed Whitewater\u2019s\nhands had carefully crafted and finished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m Maggie,\u201d\nshe began gently, looking straight into the girl\u2019s blank face. The girl said\nnothing, just sat there with her arms hanging limply at her sides, so still it\nalmost seemed she wasn\u2019t breathing. Maggie glanced over at Spencer and her\nmother as they looked on with interest. Then she cleared her throat. \u201cIt\nappears that you may be in some kind of trouble,\u201d she spoke more firmly this\ntime, hoping to capture the girl\u2019s attention. \u201cWe\u2019d like to help you, but if\nyou can\u2019t tell us what\u2019s going on we\u2019ll be forced to call the sheriff and have\nhim handle this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The girl\u2019s\neyelashes flickered ever so slightly and Maggie grew hopeful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNow, are you\nable to speak?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The girl nodded\nby barely dipping her chin, then sighed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWould you like\nfor us to help you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo one can\nhelp me,\u201d said the girl in a raspy voice just above a whisper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maggie blinked\nin surprise, and Audrey reached over to take the girl\u2019s hand as she spoke. \u201cWe\ncan only help you if you let us, honey.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Silent tears\nbegan to trickle down the girl\u2019s smooth cheeks, and Maggie felt her heart go\nout to this poor, stray girl that her son had found sleeping in the woods. \u201cHas\nshe eaten anything?\u201d she asked, glancing at her mother. She sadly shook her head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maggie picked\nup a spoon from the bowl of chicken soup still on the table and held it before\nthe girl. \u201cFirst you must eat something, and then you\u2019ll have some rest. After\nthat we\u2019ll talk. Okay?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The girl nodded\nagain, then took the spoon. After a couple of hesitant bites she began to eat\nmore hungrily. Audrey nudged Spencer with her elbow. \u201cYou see,\u201d she explained\nwith a wink, \u201cit\u2019s never wise to discuss important matters on an empty\nstomach.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before long,\nthe girl had finished most of the soup and a full glass of milk, and then\nMaggie led her to an upstairs bedroom. Maggie quickly rummaged through her own\ndresser until she found a clean oversized T-shirt for the girl to rest in.\nAfter posting Spencer downstairs, Maggie took the girl\u2019s dirty clothing along\nwith a ratty-looking backpack to the laundry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAre you really\ngoing to wash those awful rags?\u201d asked Audrey. \u201cI think I\u2019d just burn them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd how would\nthat make her feel?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI suppose\nyou\u2019re right.\u201d Audrey perused through the backpack. \u201cThere are a few more bits\nof clothing in here, but they look almost as bad as what she had on. Better\nthrow them in too. This girl is traveling awfully light. There\u2019s a little loose\nchange, a watch, and a necklace in the bottom, but that\u2019s about all she has.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShe seems to\nbe down on her luck,\u201d said Maggie as she poured in a generous amount of soap\nand turned on the washer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSad, isn\u2019t\nit?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maggie nodded.\n\u201cIt wasn\u2019t unusual to see homeless kids and runaways down in the L.A. area, but\nI thought I\u2019d gotten away from all that up here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo escape, is\nthere?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI guess not.\u201d\nShe sighed sadly. \u201cWhat\u2019ll we do with her, Mom?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s mostly\nup to her. But first off we need to find out exactly what her situation\nis\u2014whether she\u2019s a runaway or a throwaway.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNeither scenario\nsounds very good to me.\u201d Maggie pulled a load of towels from the dryer and\nbegan to fold them. \u201cYou know, Mom, I nearly ran away a time or two.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Audrey picked\nup a towel and gave it a shake. \u201cI\u2019m not surprised, dear. There were times when\nI wondered why we all didn\u2019t just run away.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maggie stopped\nfolding and stared at her incredulously. It was the first time her mother had\never openly acknowledged that a problem had existed within their family\u2019s home.\n\u201cAnd all this time, I thought it was just me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her mother\nshook her head and smoothed the towel. \u201cNo, it wasn\u2019t just you, honey. I know\nit must\u2019ve seemed as if your father\u2019s anger was directed solely at you, but we\nall got a fair share of it from time to time. And after you left home for\ncollege, your father focused his acrimonious attentions onto Barry.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPoor Barry. He\nnever told me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe probably\nthought it was simply his turn to take what you\u2019d been getting all those\nprevious years.\u201d Audrey shook her head sadly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd besides,\nwe never really talked about it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt. Like some\ndreadful disease that we had to keep secret lest the neighbors find out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cExactly.\u201d\nMaggie placed another towel on the quickly growing stack. \u201cIf we could pretend\nthat it wasn\u2019t there, then we could continue to live\nour normal little lives hoping that no one was the wiser.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cExcept that\nyou kids rarely brought your friends home.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cToo risky. We\nnever knew for sure when Dad would go into one of his tirades and begin yelling\nabout one thing or another\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLike leaving\nyour bike in the yard\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maggie nodded\ngrimly. \u201cOr forgetting to turn off a light in the living room\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOr not having\ndinner ready on time\u2026\u201d Audrey\u2019s voice caught and Maggie noticed that her eyes\nhad grown misty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\nMom,\u201d she said, placing a hand on her mother\u2019s arm. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to dig up\nold wounds like this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay,\nhoney.\u201d Audrey blotted her tears with a hand towel. \u201cYou know, I\u2019ve always\nwanted to talk with you about this, but it was just so hard to bring it up.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know. And\nafter Dad died, I figured that was the end of the whole thing anyway. I thought\nif we didn\u2019t talk about it, it would slowly go away of its own accord. But I\nguess it never completely left any of us.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Audrey looked\nat her compassionately. \u201cYes, even though your father\u2019s dead, our memories are\nstill very much alive. And sometimes memories can be cruel. How many, many\ntimes I\u2019ve wanted to tell you how sorry I was for what you kids went through\nduring those years. Sometimes I look back in retrospect and wonder why I didn\u2019t\njust leave him, but you kids were so little and I felt trapped financially. If\nonly I\u2019d known about counseling back then. I didn\u2019t realize how things could\u2019ve\ngone so differently. And I know your dad was frustrated, parenting just like\nhis father before him, doing the very things he\u2019d vowed not to do. And despite\nhis problem with anger, your father always was a good provider. I guess I just\nkept hoping that things would get better as you kids got older. I mean,\neveryone loses their patience with little kids from time to time. And then you\nremember how he was always so sorry and contrite after one of his ridiculous\noutbursts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI remember.\nBut I think it would\u2019ve been easier and less confusing if he\u2019d just been mean\nall the time.\u201d She paused and closed her eyes for a moment, then said, \u201cYou\nknow, sometimes I truly felt like Dad loved me, but at other times I was\nequally certain that he hated me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat do you\nthink now, Maggie?\u201d Audrey studied her daughter\u2019s face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI actually\nbelieve that he loved me\u2014that he loved all of us. But I also think he had a\nvery real problem with anger.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Audrey nodded.\n\u201cThat\u2019s what I believe too. After he died and I went back to college to get my\ncounseling degree, it occurred to me that I should\u2019ve done something back at\nthe very beginning, gotten help when I first began to see a pattern emerging.\nJust 20-20 hindsight, I suppose. Even now I don\u2019t know if I can ever completely\nforgive myself for not doing something.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut you didn\u2019t\nknow any of that counseling stuff back when we were kids, Mom. You did the best\nyou could. And look, Barry and I turned out just fine\u2014at least I hope we did.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her mother\nsmiled. \u201cOf course you did! Although I do wish Barry would find a nice girl and\nsettle down. But you know how proud I am of both of you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd you know,\nMom, I do believe that God can use these hard things in our lives. Somehow he\nmanages to bring good out of evil.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Audrey pressed\nher lips together. \u201cI\u2019d like to believe that too. But the truth is, most of the\ntime I just don\u2019t allow myself to think about that part of my life very much.\nIt\u2019s too painful.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut what if\nour pain can help us to understand someone else\u2019s troubles? Doesn\u2019t it almost\nseem worth the price?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her mother\nlooked thoughtful. \u201cYou mean like our little stray upstairs?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes. When I looked\ninto her eyes, I saw her sadness and it reminded me of my own teen years. I\nfelt a real empathy for her. And although I suspect her story is probably a lot\nworse than mine\u2014most of them are nowadays\u2014at least maybe I can relate to her\njust a little because of what I went through.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI hope so,\ndear. The poor girl certainly seems to be in need. The question is, will she\nallow anyone to help her?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAll we can do\nis try.\u201d Maggie placed the last towel on top. \u201cAnd pray.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Audrey\u2019s brows\nlifted. \u201cYou seem to put a lot of stock into prayer these days. Is that\nsomething new or just something I was never fully aware of before?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maggie thought\nfor a moment. She had never shared much about her faith with her mother, and\nshe wasn\u2019t even sure where to begin now. \u201cI suppose I first started depending\non prayer after losing Phil, then even more so after moving up here to Pine\nMountain. And the amazing thing is how God actually answers my prayers.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou know I\nbelieve in God, Maggie.\u201d Her mother frowned slightly. \u201cBut I guess I never\nfigured that he actually takes time to listen to our prayers. I suppose I think\nthat praying is more for us than anything.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSort of like\ntherapy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes. I always\nencouraged my patients to address a higher power if that was important to them.\nBut I must confess I considered it to be purely therapeutic.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMaybe,\u201d said\nMaggie as she picked up the laundry basket. \u201cBut the difference to me is that\nbesides simply the benefit of feeling better, and there\u2019s certainly nothing\nwrong with that, I find when I pray that I see real things happen. And that\u2019s\nwhat I call the God factor.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her mother\ngrinned skeptically. \u201c\u2018The God factor\u2019? Sounds like the title of some sci-fi\nnovel. What exactly do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maggie laughed.\n\u201cIt\u2019s sort of hard to describe, but I\u2019ve seen real life circumstances change\nand suddenly improve for no explainable reason, and I credit that to God\u2019s\nintervention. When it happens you can\u2019t miss it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n