{"id":4682,"date":"2020-07-14T16:31:19","date_gmt":"2020-07-14T20:31:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/whitefire-publishing.com\/read\/?p=4682"},"modified":"2022-08-10T13:57:07","modified_gmt":"2022-08-10T17:57:07","slug":"heart-of-a-princess","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/whitefire-publishing.com\/read\/heart-of-a-princess\/","title":{"rendered":"Heart of a Princess"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Daughters of Peverell Book 2<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

By Hannah Currie<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To the watching world, Princess Alina has it all\u2014maids to serve her, a kingdom to revere her, a prince to marry her, and a wardrobe filled with enough frills, flounces, and shades of pink to rival a flower shop. But behind the smiles and designer clothes, Alina has a secret. She\u2019s barely holding it together. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

After a moment of panic almost ends in tragedy, Alina is sent to a refuge far from the palace to recuperate. Her family<\/a> claims it\u2019s for her own good but\u2014faced with cows, knife-beaked ducks, and far too many of her own insecurities\u2014Alina is pretty sure it will kill her first. And Joha Samson, infuriating man that he is, will laugh as it does. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only there\u2019s more to Joha than she realizes, and more to herself too. When the time comes to make a stand, will she find the courage?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

So tired of being someone else,
So sick of trying to be perfect,
I come.
You didn\u2019t ask for perfection
You\u2019re not looking for someone else
Just me.
Broken, bent, tired and far from perfect
I come to you
Kneeling, crawling, it\u2019s all I can do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I look up, expecting to see rejection again
Only to see you reaching out
Smile on your face.
Waiting, you\u2019ve been waiting
For me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You open your arms wide
Invite me in
You pick me up\u2014hurt, broken, imperfect\u2014
All the pieces that so shame me
You hold me close, whisper love in my ear
You sing me a song you wrote
Just for me.
I look into your eyes and see what I long for\u2014
Acceptance, love, pride, joy.
You are pleased I came.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And in that moment, all the pain falls away
I don\u2019t remember why I hurt
Because in the arms of God I have found
Who I am and always want to be
And here I want to stay
Forever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\t\t\t\t\t

Chapter 1<\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t\t

I traced a finger over my mother\u2019s face, her perfect smile captured for all time in the photograph, and wished for the thousandth time that I might have known her. Though the palace archives were filled with her pictures and I only had to ask and they would be in my hands, it would never be enough. No number of photographs could tell you how a person smelled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I flicked backward through the album on my lap, the photos as familiar as the ache they produced\u2014Mother\u2019s twenty-fifth birthday, her holding Thoraben as a baby, smiling as she waved to a crowd, wedding photos, her official engagement portrait and, there, the one I\u2019d opened the album to find. Her eighteenth birthday. Standing beside the prince who would soon be her husband, she radiated beauty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today, I celebrated the same birthday. Eighteen years since the day I was born.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eighteen years since the day Mother died.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Giving birth to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mama, I\u2019m sorry. So sorry. I wish you\u2019d lived. You were so loved, so beautiful, so perfect, so\u2014<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everything I wasn\u2019t. Oh, the people loved me too, called me their beauty and the darling of Peverell\u2014I\u2019d made sure of it, making myself into the perfect princess\u2014but inside\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cry, and you\u2019ll ruin your makeup, Alina. You don\u2019t have time to redo it.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The deep breath I took stilled my tears but not my aching heart. It wasn\u2019t fair. None of this was. It shouldn\u2019t have been one life or the other. If only we\u2019d both lived. She would have been by my side to celebrate with me today and tell me she was proud of me, that everything was going to be okay. I\u2019d long since stopped believing it when anyone else told me that, but from her, the woman with the smile so bright and a peace I envied in her eyes, I may have believed it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The door to my suite swung open, Milenne almost hidden by the long garment bag she carried. I closed the album, tucking it back into the top drawer of my desk, glad I hadn\u2019t allowed the tears pricking my eyes to fall. The last thing I needed today was my maid or anyone else trying to comfort me with words that only made it worse. I know just how you feel. We all lost someone special that day. <\/em>They didn\u2019t know. How could they? They\u2019d lost a queen. I\u2019d all but killed my mother. Before I\u2019d even had the chance to know her. Even Thoraben had had three years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe car is waiting and\u2014Oh, Alina, you\u2019re not even dressed.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Milenne dropped the bag over the back of a chair and rushed to my giant walk-in-wardrobe. I wondered if it was too much to hope she\u2019d get lost in there. Then I could claim the need to go in and fight the thousands of pieces of clothing, shoes, and accessories to find her. Anything to get out of going into town today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, ordered as my maids kept the wardrobe, she was out again in seconds, a pair of jeans and a cotton shirt slung over one arm, canvas shoes balanced in the other. All of them unworn, as they would stay. Mother never wore jeans so neither would I.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re the princess. Be the princess.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I stood and rolled back my shoulders, breathing in the reminder like the oxygen it was. I could do this. Two and a half hours in town, shake a few hundred hands, accept some flowers, smile through the comments, laugh a little, flirt a lot, leave the people in no doubt that there was nowhere else I\u2019d rather be. Lie, fake, pretend, hide\u2014the act had become more natural than the truth. Especially since Thoraben and Kenna\u2019s wedding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nothing happened between the two of them. Sure. I\u2019ll believe that the same day I start wearing jeans.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A single glance in the floor-length mirror was enough to assure me my hair, makeup, and outfit were still as perfect as when I\u2019d dressed an hour ago, but I kept looking anyway, coveting the few extra moments to compose myself. Had the choice been mine, I would have spent the day hiding out in the living area of my suite, a tub of dark chocolate ice-cream dripping with caramel sauce my one companion as I wallowed in the unfairness of it all. Unfortunately, it wasn\u2019t my choice. Few things ever were. The same, apparently, couldn\u2019t be said for Kenna, who had more say in the running of Peverell than any traitor should have\u2014princess or otherwise. Only she would think inviting everyone in the kingdom to come and help paint and furnish the newly-built Community Center a good way to celebrate her birthday. The fact that Father had agreed to it\u2014and decreed the entire royal family would be in attendance\u2014only added to my frustration. Lunch would be catered by the palace, but Kenna had volunteered our family to serve it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Breathe in. Breathe out. It\u2019s just another engagement. Another day in the life of a princess. Nothing you haven\u2019t done before.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I turned to face Milenne, my smile was back in place. I waved aside the clothing she tried to pass me. \u201cThank you, but I\u2019m ready.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman paused, her gaze taking in the tailored white jacket and pale pink dress I wore before dropping to my matching three-inch heels. \u201cAre you certain that outfit is appropriate?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A giddy laugh bubbled up my throat. Appropriate? For walking through dirt, painting brick walls, and sitting in the dust to eat with commoners? Of course it wasn\u2019t appropriate. But neither was spending the day doing charity work on my birthday. The day which would have been my wedding day, if not for\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s fine.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut Princess Mackenna said to wear\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A short wave of my hand stopped Milenne before she could complete her sentence. Or perhaps it was the narrowing of my eyes and wild anger I wasn\u2019t fast enough to hide. My words came out clipped. I took pride in the fact that they weren\u2019t screaming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMackenna may be married to my brother, but she isn\u2019t the queen yet. If she wishes to wear such clothing in public, that is her choice, but it is not\u2014and will never\u2014be mine.\u201d Especially not today. If I had to face our people today, standing beside my brother and his new wife\u2014and Father had decreed it so\u2014I would take all the confidence my shaking fingers could grasp at. And that included every inch of extra height my heels afforded me. \u201cThank you for your concern, but I will go in this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I grabbed a silver clutch from a side table and walked out the door, saving Milenne the trouble of finding the right argument to change my mind. It would have been a fool\u2019s errand anyway, just like trying to talk my way out of today had been.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My heels clicked on the white marble as I descended the palace\u2019s grand central staircase. No one stood at the bottom watching in appreciation or waited to escort me to the car or even wish me happy birthday as I passed. Not even the palace\u2019s elderly doorkeeper\u2014as much a part of the palace as the front door itself\u2014was present, having been given the day off by the wonder couple themselves to attend the public relations stunt today. As if Rebels might not at any moment come and attack the palace while we were all off effusing false happiness. The hall was as empty as my dreams had become, dashed to nothingness in the course of one night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pull it together, Alina. You can do this. All you have to do is walk out the door, get in the car, smile at the driver, breathe\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The air I sucked into my lungs wasn\u2019t nearly enough to fortify me for what lay ahead, but it would have to do. I\u2019d already delayed as long as I dared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re the princess, be the\u2014<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I flung open the front door, striding down the steps and tucking myself into the back seat of the waiting black car before fear had the chance to convince me otherwise. Childbirth might have taken my mother and Mackenna my wedding, but no one could take my pride.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What little I had left of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A short word from Father to the driver set us in motion. I settled into the seat and did my best to ignore the racing of my heart. If Father disapproved of my outfit or tardiness, he didn\u2019t mention it. We were halfway to town before he spoke to me at all, reminding me again of the importance of today for our family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I nodded, the weight of emotion sitting on my chest too much to allow for speech. I\u2019d go today because I was part of the royal family and our people needed a show of unity, but even Father knew better than to ask me to enjoy it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt is in times like these when we pull together as a country and prove to the rest of the world what we are made of. Infrastructure may collapse around us, but we, the people, stand strong. We are Peverell\u2014steeped in tradition, bound by a hope for the future.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Though my head angled toward Father at his lectern, the gaze beneath my sunglasses wandered around the assembled crowd, wilting in the heat. Their faces, like mine, showed complete attentiveness, but the niggles gave them away. They probably thought they were hiding them but from here, on the podium, they were all too clear. Shuffling feet, shushing of young children, rapid blinking\u2014or those forgetting to blink at all, glazed over as they were\u2014stretching necks, smothered yawns. If Father\u2019s speech went much longer, I wouldn\u2019t have to do any work at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSixty years ago, when my father, King Rafael, took up the crown and saved our great nation, he vowed it would be a place of peace, of loyalty, of courage, and of hope. He transcribed them on our Coat of Arms, and ever since we have endeavored to carry out those fidelities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe whirlwind took its toll on our land. It destroyed houses, businesses, and\u2014for some of our farmers\u2014livelihoods. But what we must remember and rejoice in is this\u2014it didn\u2019t take a single life. Not one person was lost to its wrath. Houses, businesses, crops\u2014they can all be rebuilt, but our people\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Father\u2019s deep breath, the slow shake of his head as he let the sentence fall to silence, was planned, practiced, and effective. Tired backs straightened, determined nods tipped out tears, arms reached for loved ones as a mix of fierce loyalty and tenderness washed the exhaustion from the crowd. Even I felt myself sitting straighter, pulled in by Father\u2019s words and the gratitude they produced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSixty years ago, we rebuilt this nation. We will do it again. Already we have begun. What you have pulled together to do in the weeks since the whirlwind has been nothing short of remarkable. Looking around this marketplace today, one would never guess it was near rubble a mere seven weeks ago. But there is more to do. We can\u2019t stop here. We will not stop here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Father looked behind him, beckoning Thoraben, Kenna, and me forward. We stood by his sides, as we had so many times before. Hand in hand, a unified front.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThoraben, Mackenna, Alina, and I, we stand before you today, not as rulers but as friends. Family. Fellow workers in the building of this small but beautiful country of ours. As one, we stand. As one, we fight. As one, we care. As one, we will rebuild.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWithout further ado, let us begin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The applause was deafening. I smiled first at the crowd, then Father, grinned at Thoraben, hugged Kenna, all the while pushing down the voice inside me screaming that it was lies on top of lies. We weren\u2019t unified. Not as a family. Not anymore. Not since the night of the whirlwind, when my brother and former best friend betrayed us all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And unlike the land, not everything could be rebuilt.<\/p>\n\n\n